Are You Lying to Yourself?

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The person most likely holding you back from success is you.

How? Self-deception. Lying to yourself is the simplest way to ignore the challenges and situations that push you to achieve more.

Today, I’m going to talk to you about how to get out of denial and come to terms with the things that are holding you back from success.

Face What Is Not Working in Your Life

If you are going to be successful, you have to get out of denial and face what isn’t working in your life.

Do you make excuses for the lack of results in your business or your career? Do you defend or ignore how toxic your work environment is?

Maybe you make excuses for a bad marriage? Are you in denial about your lack of energy, your excess weight, your ill health, or your level of physical fitness?

Successful people face these circumstances head on. They heed the warning signs and take appropriate action, no matter how uncomfortable or challenging it might be.

How to Recognize Denial

What does denial look like?

Though some situations in our lives can be uncomfortable, embarrassing, and painful, we often live with them. Worse, we hide them behind myths, accepted views, and platitudes.

We don’t even realize we are in denial.

We use phrases such as, “It’s just what guys do.” “You can’t control teenagers these days.” “He’s just venting his frustrations.” “It’s got nothing to do with me.” “It’s none of my business.” “It’s not my place to say.” or “I don’t want to rock the boat.”

Lying to Yourself is NOT the Easy Route

Occasionally, we’ll even pretend a situation is working when it isn’t. We don’t realize that if we acknowledge the bad situation sooner, it is often less painful to resolve.daily-affirmations-for-success-guide-2

Acknowledging the situation is cheaper, and the circumstances might be more beneficial. Likewise, the problems would be easier to solve and we could be more honest with everyone concerned. In turn, we would feel better about ourselves, and we would certainly have more integrity.

The problems would be easier to solve and we could be more honest with everyone concerned. In turn, we would feel better about ourselves, and we would certainly have more integrity.

But in order to accomplish this, we have to get past our denial.

Acknowledge the Bad Situation

Successful people are more committed to finding out why things are going wrong and fixing them. They do not defend their own position or maintain their ignorance.

A big part of not lying to yourself is recognizing bad situations and then doing something about them.

Often denial is the notion that something even worse will happen if you stop lying to yourself and take corrective action.

In other words… We’re afraid to face the truth.

Solutions Do Not Always Require Drastic Change

Therapists can tell you that in spite of overwhelming clues that their spouse is having an affair, many patients will not confront their cheating partner.

They simply don’t want to face the fact that the marriage might be over.

It could be they don’t want to deal with the emotional stress and the physical inconvenience of a divorce. Or they don’t want to deal with the financial upheaval or the possibility that they might have to move or get a job.

Many of the situations I described may require drastic changes in how you live, work, and relate to others. Remember that the solution to your problems isn’t always to quit your job, get a divorce, fire the employee, or ground your teenager.

It may be more productive to choose less extreme alternatives.

These alternatives can be a discussion with your boss, marriage counseling, setting boundaries with your teenager, coworkers, friends and family, scaling back your expenditures, or seeking competent professional help.

Face Your Fears and Take Action

Of course, these less drastic solutions still require you to face your fears and take action.

But you have to face what isn’t working first.

The good news is that the more you face uncomfortable situations, the better you get at it. When you face one thing that isn’t working, the next time you face a challenge, you are more likely to take immediate action.

And the sooner you take action, the easier it is to handle.

Choose an Area of Your Life to Improve

As usual, I want to leave you with a bit of homework to complete. Take the time right now to make a list of what isn’t working in your life.

Start with the seven major areas where you would normally set goals:

  1. Financial
  2. Career or Business
  3. Free Time or Family Time
  4. Health and Fitness
  5. Relationships
  6. Personal Growth
  7. Contribution or Making a Difference

Make a Plan 

Ask yourself:

“What’s not working? How can I improve it? What requests can I make? What action steps can I take to get each of these situations to work out the way I would like them to?”

Do you need to talk to someone? Call a repair person? Ask someone for help? Learn a new skill? Find a new resource? Read a book? Call an expert?

Just choose one and make a plan to fix it. Hold yourself accountable, and leave a comment below of at least one thing you’re going to fix right now. I’ll be sure to follow up with you.

Affirmations can help you to improve all areas of your life. They will help you attract into your life all the love, appreciation, success, and abundance you desire and deserve. Learn more from my step-by-step affirmations guide to replace your limiting beliefs and achieve success. Click below to learn more. 

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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE?
You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul® and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

5 Steps to Develop Maximum Self-Confidence

If you are going to be successful in creating the life of your dreams, you have to have self-confidence and believe that you are capable of making it happen.

How do you develop self-confidence like this?

You have to believe you have the right stuff, and that you are able to pull it off. Self-confidence is a deep-seated belief that you have whatever it takes. You have the abilities, inner resources, talents, and skills to create your desired results.

Here are 5 tips that can help you develop maximum self-confidence.

Take the success principles free 10-Day Transformation course and develop maximum self-confidence. Learn more here.

1. Make the Choice to Believe in Yourself

That’s right, believing in yourself is a choice.

It is an attitude you develop over time. Although it helps if you had positive and supportive parents, the fact is that most of us had run-of-the-mill parents who inadvertently passed on to us the same limiting beliefs and negative conditioning they grew up with.

To be successful, you have to remember, the past is the past and there is no payoff for blaming your parents for your current level of self-confidence. It’s your responsibility to take charge of your own self-concept and your beliefs.

You must choose to believe that you can do anything you set your mind to, because the reality is, you can.

2. Use Positive Self-Talk and Positive Visualizations to Persuade Yourself

The latest brain research indicates that with enough positive self-talk and positive visualization combined with proper training, coaching and practice, anyone can learn to do almost anything.

If you choose to believe in yourself and act as if anything is possible, then you will do the things that are necessary to bring about the result.

On the other hand, if you believe that it is impossible, you will not do what is necessary, and you will not produce the result. Either way, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

3. Give Up the Words “I Can’t”

If you are going to develop maximum levels of self-confidence and success, you need to give up the phrase “I can’t” and all of its cousins, such as “I wish I were able to.”

The words “I can’t” disempower you.

They actually make you physically weaker when you say them. Your brain is designed to solve any problem and reach any goal that you give it, and the words you think and say affect your brain and body.

Let me give you an example:

When you were a toddler, there was no stopping you. You thought you could climb up on anything. No barrier was too big for you to attempt to overcome.

But little by little, your sense of invincibility was conditioned out of you by the feedback you received from your family, friends, and teachers, and by the decisions you made in response to that, until you no longer believed you could.

To undo your past conditioning and move towards a future of confidence and success, you must take responsibility for removing the words “I can’t” from your vocabulary, and replacing them with the words “I can” and “I will.”

4. Ignore What Others Think of You

If having others believing in you and your dream were a requirement for success, most of us would never accomplish anything.

You need to base your decisions about what you want to do on YOUR goals and desires–not the goals, desires, opinions, and judgments of your parents, friends, spouse, children, or co-workers.

Quit worrying about what other people think about you and follow your heart.

In fact, most of the time, nobody’s thinking about you at all! They are too busy worrying about their own lives, and if they are thinking about you, they are wondering what you are thinking about them.

Meanwhile, all that time you’re wasting worrying about what other people think about your ideas, your goals, your clothes, your hair, and your home, could be better spent focusing on doing the things that will actually get your closer to achieving your goals.

5. Constantly Acknowledge Your Positive Past

Most people in our culture remember their failures more than their successes.

One reason for this is the “leave ‘em alone — pounce” approach to parenting, teaching, and management that is so prevalent in our culture.

When you were a young child, your parents left you alone when you were playing and being cooperative, and then pounced on you when you made too much noise, were a nuisance, or got into trouble.

There was almost always more emotional intensity around your errors, mistakes, and failures than there was around your successes.

And because the brain more easily remembers events that were accompanied by strong emotions, most people underestimate and underappreciate the number of successes they’ve had, compared to the number of failures they’ve had.

The best way to counteract this phenomenon is to consciously focus on and celebrate your successes. Research has shown over and over again that the more you acknowledge your past successes, the more confident you become in taking on and successfully accomplishing new ones.

Remembering and acknowledging that you have had successes in the past, will give you the self-confidence that you can have more successes in the future.

Create a Victory Log for Yourself

Keeping these 5 strategies in mind, I want you to create a victory log.

A victory log is a list of all your daily successes. You can keep your list in a notebook, your iPad, your smartphone, or on your computer, but the point is to keep a running list that you can add to each day.

Begin by writing down your successes from yesterday and those from today, and keep the list going in order to log these victories into your long-term memory. As simple as this exercise is, it is extremely powerful in building your maximum confidence.

To hold yourself accountable, leave a comment below with the first 5 items in your victory log. I’ll follow up with you in the comments to make sure you’re staying on track.

Develop Maximum Self-Confidence

Imagine exuding self-confidence in any situation, asking for what you want, believing anything is possible… and, taking more risks. Now imagine you have already achieved any goal you desire. What would it feel like? How would you be thinking?

This simple imagination exercise is something you can do right now to take you faster to the actual manifestation of that experience.

That’s because when you feel good about yourself, you begin to attract the people and events that empower you to achieve the exact success you imagined.

 

Take my Success Principles Free 10-Day Transformation course and get me as your personal mentor for the next 10 Days! In this free online training you’ll get:

  • The Success Principles 96 page eBook.  
  • 38-minute video: Liberate Yourself from the Blame Game.
  • 60-minute audio: Take Control and Get What You Want.
  • 72-minute audio: Awakening Power: Visualizations and Meditations for Success.
  • Plus daily transformational activities to help you put the lessons into practice.

This is the biggest free training package I have ever put together – so if you want to apply its power to your life, sign up today!

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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE?
You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is the founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul® and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com