3 Wealth Lessons I Learned After Becoming a Millionaire

I actually became a millionaire quite suddenly, almost overnight. If you’re wondering how to become a millionaire or want to be a millionaire one day, you may find it helpful to learn these lessons.

how to become a millionaire

“Money is usually attracted, not pursued.” —Jim Rohn

As a result of becoming a millionaire so fast, I didn’t have a lot of time to adjust to suddenly having much more money than I was used to. It happened very fast after the success of the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book took off.

That experience taught me 3 powerful lessons about money and being a millionaire.

1. Money Doesn’t Change You Much

The first thing I learned was that money doesn’t change you as much as you’d think.

You’ve heard the saying, “Money can’t buy happiness.” It’s true.

If you were happy before you had money, you’re going to be happy when you have money. If you were unhappy before you had money, having money isn’t going to make you feel any happier or any more fulfilled.

We all know people who have very little money who are very happy and we all know people who have a lot of money and are very unhappy. Money really has nothing to do with it.

At the same time, there are certain things that money definitely helps with…

Money can help you handle unexpected expenses more easily.

It can help you give your kids a good education, or provide you and your loved ones with better healthcare.

It alleviates certain hardships, and that’s a really good thing about it.

But even though money can change the world around you, it won’t change YOU.

Who you are, how you see the world and interact with it – all that stays the same.

So if you’re afraid of attracting money into your life because you’re worried it’s going to change you in some way, don’t be. Having money tends to amplify the person you already are.

If you’re a good person who wants to make a positive impact in the world, you can do a lot more good things with your money. You can fund a lot of great projects.

If you’re a terrible person who only thinks about yourself, you’ll just be a terrible person with a lot of money. We’ve all met or read about those people.

And remember, it’s never too late to change the way you think about money. I was 51 when I received my first $1,000,000 check. Here’s a video about that:

2. Money Can Make You Uncomfortable

The second lesson I learned is, having more money than other people can make you very uncomfortable.

Two years after the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book came out, I made $6,000,000 dollars in a year.

That was a major amount of money and it made me very uncomfortable. I actually felt some guilt around it and had to wrestle with my own sense of worthiness.

I wasn’t sure I deserved that kind of money when so many people in the world had nothing.

Not only that – I noticed that even though I hadn’t changed, the way some people related to me did.

In the eyes of many, Jack Canfield the multimillionaire was a very different person than Jack Canfield the relatively successful speaker and coach.

And having people treat me differently all of a sudden was a very uncomfortable experience. I did eventually get used to it, as I became more comfortable being a person with money. But it took some time.  

3. Money Makes You Look at Your Values

And the final lesson I learned when I became a millionaire is this: money forces you to look at what you truly value.

As I became more comfortable with having money, I had to take responsibility for it and decide what to do with it.

I had figure out what was most important to me, what were my values, and what did I really care about.

What I discovered was that I felt a strong responsibility to use my money for good.

But how?

Did I want to give my money to a school like Harvard, where I had graduated from – or give it to support homeless kids living in Santa Barbara where I live?

I ultimately decided to help build schools in Africa because my background and my values lie in education, and to support organizations dedicated to environmental sustainability to provide a future world where my grandchildren could survive in. That’s how I chose to give back.

I sat down with my family and together we decided what charities we were going to donate money to. It was a great opportunity to educate my kids on good money habits and the responsibilities of having money.

On Buying Too Much “Stuff”

Of course, there is also the danger of buying too much “stuff” when you have money.

People who suddenly have a lot of money may be tempted to make a lot of big purchases and surround themselves with way too much “stuff” they don’t really need.

When I first became wealthy, I went through a phase that I call my “nouveau riche stage”, in which I spent too much money on nice sweaters and clothing.

And at one point we even had a personal chef cooking all our meals. But I ended up gaining too much weight from having a chef and my wife became aware that she valued her privacy in the home more than the convenience of having someone else do all the cooking, so we decided to spend our money in ways that better served us.

So when it comes to spending your money in a way that truly makes you happy, you really need to examine yourself, your values and your priorities, and decide what it is you truly want.

Remember that it’s okay for money to make you uncomfortable, but that’s just because it’s exposing you to new situations beyond your current comfort zone.

It’s not significantly going to change YOU in any way.

But, if you want to be smart with your money and use it to create a life you truly love, put your money where your values lie. Use it to make a positive impact and create the kind of world you want to live in. That’s how you create a life of true purpose, deeper meaning, and abundance.

Develop a Millionaire Mindset

Here’s a great way to help you develop a millionaire mindset.

I want you to play the Millionaire Game. From this point forward, I encourage you to act as if you were already a millionaire or multi-millionaire.

How would you feel when you woke up in the morning?

What would your intention or purpose be for the day?

What would your mindset and outlook be?

How would you interact with your family, friends, coworkers, clients, and customers if you were already a millionaire?

How would you walk and talk, and how would you hold your body?

Fully visualize how you would move through the world as a millionaire – and then start acting that way today.

One of the most powerful exercises I often do in my live seminars and training is to have people stand up and mill around the room, interacting with each other as if they were already millionaires. At the end of the exercise, I ask them if they feel any different.

Everyone always reports that they feel more confident, more outgoing, happier, more enthusiastic and more energized.

Yet they hadn’t really become millionaires except in their minds!

And we know from the Law of Attraction when you feel, talk and act like a wealthy person, you attract more wealth and abundance into your life. The energy you put out into the universe will help you attract the people, the resources, and the opportunities to actually make that dream of wealth and abundance a reality.

If you’d like to learn more about the Law of Attraction and how to attract wealth and happiness into your life, get this free guide.

download the law of attraction guide by jack canfield for effortless success

The Power of Sharing Your Goals With Others

An individual’s goals are very personal. In fact, a well thought out goal hints at the person’s vulnerability and deepest desires. Not only do goals reflect a person’s desires, goals also have the incredible power to change a person’s life – if executed well of course.

goal sharing

However, due to the nature of such goals, people have a tendency to keep their goals and visions to themselves. But, there is great power in goal sharing.

The Power of Goal Sharing

Sharing your goals in life with others is an important success principle.

Have you ever wondered why weight loss apps encourage individuals to connect with other users, to post their weight loss goals, and their successes?

Studies show that men and women who publicly shared their weight loss goals lost more weight than those who didn’t.

This phenomenon applies to other goals too – not just weight loss related goals.

The truth is that your chance of actually achieving your goals is greatly increased when you share it with others for the following reasons:

1. You Gain Clarity

You gain more clarity about your goal and how to achieve it. In speaking your goal out loud, conversations with others may help you clarify and sharpen your goal.

Perhaps you knew you always wanted to apply to culinary school, but your friend is able to help you hone in on which specialty is best suited for you.

2. You Receive Accountability

Speaking it makes it real. Maybe your goal was written in a diary for over a year, or even longer.

Sharing your goal with a friend or family member makes the goal more real and no longer just a note in a journal.

Now, others can hold you accountable by asking you about the progress you’ve made towards reaching your goal.

If you want to be able to positively respond to those questions, you’ll quickly be motivated to take action and stay on track.

Here’s a related video that talks about how to set life goals.

What is an Accountability Partner?

Often, the term accountability partner is tossed around in the gyms or weight loss programs, but an accountability partner can help you reach any goal, fitness-related or not.

Having someone hold you accountable for your goal is an effective way to ensure that you actually reach your goal.

Accountability first and foremost can increase your motivation.

No goal can ever be met without self-motivation on your part, but unfortunately, motivation does not always come in abundance.

Sometimes we can supply our own internal motivation, but sometimes, especially during the most difficult parts of the journey, we need external support and motivation.

External motivation from a friend, who knows what you have committed yourself to, can come in the form of positive reinforcement and encouragement.

How to Choose an Accountability Partner

So who should you choose as an accountability partner?

The answer to this varies dramatically based on your circumstances and your goals.

Accountability can come from family members, friends with similar goals, colleagues at work, mentors, coaches, or personal advisors.

In fact, no matter what you do in life and no matter what your goal is, having a personal advisor is critical to being successful in meeting your goals.

It’s not always easy for people to share their most intimate visions or personal goals.

Do you share your goals with others?

If not, what is holding you back?

Sometimes individuals hold back because they are embarrassed about their goals.

They are afraid that others will mock their goal or say they are unrealistic. Of course, that could technically happen, but you don’t need to feel embarrassed if someone mocks your goals.

As long as your goals are well-planned and important to you, that is what matters. If someone does belittle your goals, then he or she is not the right accountability partner for you.

Look for support elsewhere.

Sometimes the fear of competition holds us back.

Have you ever heard of artists or musicians afraid to share their work because they don’t want others to steal the idea or compete with it?

Don’t let fear of competition stop you. Instead, focus on the benefits you’ll get from sharing with others.

Maybe you don’t share your goal because you think people won’t understand.

For instance, a teenager might not want to tell her parents she wants to join the army because she thinks she won’t get it.

However, through honest and open conversations, it is possible to share your goal and the reasons why you feel so passionately about your goal.

Connecting with other people allows them to gain clearer insight into you and your goals, which opens up the possibility of their support.

If you haven’t shared your vision or your goals with others, think carefully about what is holding you back. What can you do to overcome those obstacles?

Who is the best person that can act as an accountability partner for you? Tell them your goals, and ask for their support in keeping you on track. Leave a message in the comments if goal sharing has helped you.

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3 Big Reasons to Join Me for One Day to Greatness

Every single person is born with the potential for greatness.

But sadly, most of us go through our entire lives without ever recognizing our own potential or achieving anything close to greatness.

We stay in jobs we hate because leaving a “sure thing” to go after a more exciting opportunity seems too risky. We fritter our time away arguing with people on social media instead of writing the books we’ve always longed to write. We stay in relationships that don’t fulfill us… say “no” to anything that will push us out of our comfort zone… and avoid exploring the most important question of our lives:

“What do I truly, passionately, deeply desire to DO?”

I don’t want you to get stuck in this kind of rut – always settling for “good enough”

instead of unleashing the greatness inside of you and creating a life of deeper joy purpose, and fulfillment.

Because the world needs more great people – now more than ever.  

When more people are achieving their dreams and showing up in the world in a more inspiring and impactful way, they motivate the people around them to do the same – to aim higher, get better results, and experiencing more happiness and meaning in what they do.

… And that means a better world for everyone!  

WHAT DOES “GREATNESS” LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?

Only you can answer this.

  •   What kind of life do you want to live?
  •   How do you want to spend your time?
  •   Who and what do you want to surround yourself with?
  •   What kind of purpose and meaning do you want your life to have?
  •   At the end of the day, what do you want to be able to look back on and say, “I’m so happy and grateful I did that!”?

These are big questions… probably the most important you’ll ever ask yourself. But when you get clear on the answers and then take action to create a life that fulfills your vision, that is what greatness is all about!

The good news is, you don’t have to find the answers by yourself.

I have made it my life’s purpose to help others discover their own potential for greatness and create lives that fill them with joy, purpose, and fulfillment.

That’s why I created One Day to Greatness – so I could help as many people as possible unlock their full potential and gain the clarity they need to make their dreams a reality – in a single, life-changing day.

And I would love to do the same for you!

WHY SHOULD YOU ATTEND?

Here are 3 great reasons why you should do whatever it takes to join me at One Day to Greatness this fall:

1. You’ll discover what you’re capable of

It’s more than you think – guaranteed. And once you fully comprehend your own  potential for greatness, you will feel compelled to develop that potential and use it to achieve incredible things in your life.

2. You’ll gain clarity on your purpose

You were put here for a reason. Don’t you think it’s time to discover what it is?

3. You’ll leave inspired, energized, and motivated to make your dreams a reality.

It’s time to stop spinning your wheels or heading off in too many directions at once.

In just one unforgettable day with me, you will gain valuable new insight, let go of old habits that no longer serve you, and leave empowered to reach a level of personal and professional success greater than anything you have ever experienced.

And this year I’m bringing this intensive one-day workshop to four brand-new cities across the country. So if you’ve never had the chance to experience this event because it’s always been too far away, maybe this fall is your time to finally make it happen!

Discover which cities I’ll be visiting here.

WHAT WILL YOUR EXPERIENCE LOOK LIKE?

My One Day to Greatness tour is one of the best experiences of my year.

I love visiting new cities and meeting new friends and old…

… and looking into the audience and seeing face after face light up as they experience powerful a-ha’s and truth about themselves.

It’s amazing to see them experience one big epiphany after another…

… and finish the day energized to show up in the world in a different way – and do what it takes to make their dreams a reality.

(Plus there are always so many great hugs!)

BOOK YOUR SPOT NOW AND GET A 2ND TICKET FREE

For a limited time, when you buy one general admission ticket you will get a second one at no extra cost – which means you and a friend can attend for only $149 each!

(Normally people spend a minimum of $700/day to attend one of my workshops, so you can see this is a huge bargain!)

We also have a limited number of VIP seats (at 50% off) that guarantee the best seats in the house, as well as the VIP Seminar Package and event recordings that allow you to revisit the success strategies you’ll be learning during our day together whenever you’d like.

These early-bird deals won’t be around forever… so if you’d like to spend the day with me in person – and discover what you’re truly capable of achieving – join me for One Day to Greatness this fall.

Click here to see if I’m coming to a city near you.  

Get Motivated By Learning the Importance of Taking Action

There’s an enduring axiom of success that says,“The Universe rewards action, not thought.” Yet as simple as this principle seems, it’s surprising how many people get bogged down in the analyzing, planning and organizing stages when what they really need to do is to simply take action.

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“What we think or what we know or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.” – John Ruskin

When you take action, not only do additional resources come your way, but you get feedback that helps you adjust your course and refine your approach.

In my seminars, I conduct a very illustrative exercise. I hold up a $100 bill and ask participants if any of them would like to have it.  I stand in front of the room, and wait until they “get it.” 

Usually, after several seconds, someone jumps out of their seat and rushes forward to pluck the $100 bill out of my hand. I then tell the rest of the audience that they, too, could have been the one to get the money if only they had taken action.

The Importance of Taking Action

The truth is, while most of us know a lot about earning money, making things happen and bringing about change in the world, only a surprising few get to have all the abundance, glory and satisfaction this world has to offer—simply because they are the select few who consistently take action.

Taking action is the one thing that separates the winners from the non-winners…the haves from the have-nots…and the high achievers from the everyday people.

Perhaps you’ve already seen someone create a big win in their life, only to grumble to yourself, I could have done that. Or perhaps you’ve watched as a co-worker launched a new project that included your ideas—only to conclude that you stood by while they took action.

How to Start Taking Action

The simple fact remains that, in life, we are not rewarded for what we know, but for what we do.

Of course, many people don’t take action because they’re fearful of the consequences. 

Perhaps they feel they don’t have permission or perhaps they’re more afraid of failure than they are of success.

Successful people realize that failure is an important part of the learning process. They know that failure is just a way we learn by trial an error. Not only do we need to stop being so afraid of failure, we need to be willing to fail.  I call this kind of instructive failure “failing forward.” 

Simply get started, make mistakes, listen to the feedback, correct and keep moving forward toward the goal.

Of course, one major benefit of taking action is that it’s a key factor in putting The Law of Attraction to work in your life. 

Step 1: You have to ask for what you want.

Step 2: You have to believe it will come about

Step 3: You have to create a vibrational or emotional match in order to receive the results when they come your way.

When you’re in action—doing research, connecting with people, finding ways to accomplish a goal—you are sending a powerful signal to the Universe that you expect and anticipate meeting that goal or enjoying that experience soon.

After all, you wouldn’t be doing all that work if you didn’t expect to be living that new life sometime soon, would you?

How to Learn to Take Action: The Rule of 5

A powerful strategy to get you in action and keep you in action is something I call The Rule of 5.

Here it is:

Every day, do five things that will move you closer to your goal – 5 concrete action steps.

If you’re self-employed, do five things to grow your business.

If you want a promotion at your job, do five things a day to improve your skills and knowledge so you’ll be eligible to be promoted.

Even if you accomplish just 5 things each week, that’s more than most people do in a month to achieve their dreams.

I remember back when I was building my speaking career, I would send 5 letters a day to school districts and program directors for educator conferences for teachers, counselors and school administrators.

And later, when Chicken Soup for the Soul was published, I would send out 5 books a day to companies who could hire me to speak at their next industry event or sales meeting.

Practice your “5 Things a Day” habit and after three weeks – not only will you have taken major action toward your life goals, you will have developed a new habit of being pro-active in creating your future.

Without action, nothing happens. So to help you get into action, I want to invite you to tune in to my webcast, which will teach you how to set and accomplish your biggest goals and create the life you want. I’ll teach you how to create awareness for where you want to go, see the big picture, and create an action plan to get there.

How to Overcome the Fears That You Create

Fear is the single biggest thing that holds us back. Overcoming fear is an essential step in achieving our goals and dreams.

“Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.”  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s one of most common reasons people procrastinate on taking action toward their goals. We fear failure, or rejection, or being embarrassed, or disappointing or angering other people, or getting hurt. So we play it safe and avoid taking risks or trying new things.

Fear is natural. But where does it come from?

The answer is that it comes from US – from our own minds and imagination. it’s important to remember that, as humans, we’ve evolved to the stage where almost all of our fears are now self-created.

We scare ourselves by imagining negative outcomes to any activities we pursue or experience. But just because we imagine these things happening, that doesn’t mean they WILL happen, or that they will be as painful as we think.

That’s why psychologists like to say that fear stands for “Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.”

Because fear is all about what MIGHT happen – not what WILL happen.

Overcoming Fear

The good news is, since we are the root source of our fears, that means we have the power to overcome them.

Instead of allowing ourselves to imagine a worst-case scenario and be a victim of our fears, we can take control of our own minds and consciously decide to visualize a best-case scenario instead.

Here’s a simple exercise to help you gain more control over your fears – and show you how unfounded they really are.

Make a List of the Things You Are Afraid to Do

These are not things you are afraid of, such as spiders, but instead, the things you are afraid to do, such as skydiving.

Your list might include things such as: leaving my job, going back to school, talking to my spouse about our relationship, asking for a raise, and so on.

Once you have completed your list, restate each fear in the following format:

I want to ____, and I scare myself by imagining ____.

For example:

I want to start my own business, and I scare myself by imagining that I would go bankrupt and lose my house.

Or:

I want to talk to my husband about our relationship, and I scare myself by imagining that if he knew how I really felt and what I really wanted, he would leave me.

By completing this statement for all of the things we are afraid to do, you can see how you are the one creating your fears by imagining negative outcomes in the future.

Take More Control Over Fears

I want you to take the last part of that statement – the fearful outcome you imagined – and transform it into something positive.

For example:

“Instead of scaring myself by imagining that I will go bankrupt and lose my house, I will work hard to do whatever it takes to make my business a success.”

Or:

“Instead of scaring myself by imagining that my husband will leave me, I will work with him to cultivate greater love and intimacy in our relationship.”

Do you see how each of these statements flips the fear on its head and transforms it into a powerful positive vision?

I encourage you to try this for yourself – and transform all of your fears into empowering visions of success!

7 Strategies to Move Past Fears

After you complete this exercise, you will still experience fear from time to time. It’s part of being human. But to help you in the process of overcoming fear faster, I have seven strategies to share with you today:

1. Become More Aware of Your Thoughts

Thoughts produce emotions – so if you want to change how you feel, change your thoughts. Whenever you feel fear, retrace your mental steps and observe what you were thinking.

What thoughts led to your feelings of fear? Once you identify them, it will be easier to resolve them.

2. Choose More Positive Thoughts

You can’t rid yourself of negative thoughts simply by not thinking them. The Law of Replacement dictates that you can’t replace something with nothing – you have to replace it with something else.

So when you notice yourself experiencing a negative, fear-producing thought, replace it with a positive thought instead – like I did in the exercise I just showed you.

For example, if you want to become a best-selling author, be on the lookout for thoughts like, “What if publishers reject my manuscript?

Instead, visualize what will happen when a publisher DOES accept your manuscript and agrees to bring your book to market.

3. Notice the Physical Effects of Fearful Thoughts

Observe the physical sensations you experience when you think a fearful thought. You may feel fear as a sinking feeling in your stomach, a tightening in your shoulders and chest, or an elevated heart rate.

Notice what you feel and then consciously replace them with sensations you’d rather be experiencing.

Focus on how positive emotions, such as peace and joy, show up your body – as a rush of warmth or a tingle of delight. Imagine yourself experiencing those sensations instead, and your fears will be neutralized.

4. Use Positive Affirmations

Utilize affirmations to create a more positive, success-oriented mindset. Affirmations are powerful statements that describe the reality you want to create – and they are a powerful antidote to fear.

Here’s how they work: Imagine the reality you would like to create then form a positive statement that describes it as already being achieved. For example: “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a New York Times bestselling author.”

By stating it as already being achieved, you create a tension between what you are saying and experiencing physically, and what your mind knows to be true.

Your subconscious doesn’t like this tension and will begin to work overtime to resolve it, prompting you to take more action and become more aware of resources that will help you achieve your goal.

As you practice your daily affirmations, you may find yourself thinking, “What if this doesn’t work?”  If that happens, I encourage you to ask yourself instead,

“What if this does work?”

“Why will this work?”

“How will it work?”

By shifting your questions to focus more on action and solutions, you will find it easier to maintain your forward momentum.

5. Charge Your Visualizations with Powerful Positive Emotions

Take this affirmation for example:

I am so happy and grateful now that I am a New York Times bestselling author.”

When you include a positive emotion in the statement – such as happiness or gratitude – you open yourself to experiencing that emotion in your body, giving your affirmation far more impact.

Just as the emotion of fear can paralyze you, intense positive emotions can motivate you toward greater success.

6. Be Realistic About Risk

A practical – and often overlooked – strategy for overcoming fear is to make sure you’re not risking more than you can afford to lose.

To grow and achieve greater success, you have to risk something. Just make sure that you can bear the loss if you don’t succeed the first time. My advice is to begin by taking on smaller challenges and work your way up.

If you want to start your business but you need a guaranteed income each month to pay your mortgage and stay out of debt, maybe run your business as a side gig until you have enough clients to quit your job for good.

If you’re starting your first job in sales, call on prospects or customers who will be the easiest to sell to. If you’re eager to take on new responsibilities at work, start by asking to do parts of a project you’re interested in.

If you want to run a marathon, start slowly with a simple “couch to 5K” app. Master the skills you need to learn, move through your fears, and then take on bigger challenges.

7. Celebrate Your Successes

You’ve overcome countless fears to become the person you are today, whether it was learning to ride a bike, driving a car, or kissing someone you liked for the first time. Taking risks and opening yourself to new experiences is always a little scary.

But when you face your fears and take action anyway, you build up confidence in your abilities.

The situation you’re facing now and how your fear is manifesting may be different than what you’ve experienced in the past, but you already know how to overcome your fears. You’ve spent a lifetime doing it! So I encourage you to follow Emerson’s advice and do the thing you fear.

It is the best possible way to grow as a person and achieve more success in life. Every successful person I know has been willing to take a leap of faith even though they were afraid. Because they knew that if they didn’t act, the opportunity would pass them by.

Recognize Fear For What It Is: a mental trick your ego uses to protect you from the negative outcomes it imagines. You create your fear and you have the power to dissolve it as well.

Think about something that you’re afraid to do. Now replace that fear with:

 I want to ____, and I scare myself by imagining ____.

Then transform the second part of that statement into a more positive outcome by saying,

“Instead of scaring myself by imagining ____, I will ____.

Repeat that to yourself a few times and see how you feel.

Learn how to reclaim your happiness and reach your goals without feeling stress with my Positive Thinking Guide. Discover how to overcome negative thoughts and feelings with ease.

How are you overcoming fear today? I challenge you to do something that scares you today. Do you have any questions or comments? If so, leave a comment below!

How to Deal with Fear of Missing Out

Fear of missing out or FOMO affects everyone, harming personal happiness and hampering inspiration. The “fear of missing out” is an uneasy, often all-consuming, feeling of missing important events.

It can arise when a birthday party happens. It can surge when the weekend rolls around. It can pop up when the phone doesn’t ring. FOMO is the fear that results when you think your peers are having more fun than you.

It can stir up beliefs that you are not good enough. It comes from wondering if they’re experiencing life’s best face when your face isn’t around.

Truth be told, FOMO is a widely experienced phenomenon. You’re not alone. The problem is that it can lead to an obsession with social media, create high levels of anxiety and contribute to your happiness. While FOMO is experienced by lots and lots of us, it is totally beatable. If you’re caught in a FOMO cycle, you can break the chain.

Where Does FOMO Come From?

Fear of missing out can be caused by many things: an imbalance between your home and work life, loss of sleep, loss of autonomy or a deep need for more competence. At the end of the day, however, FOMO is derived from the fear of unhappiness. So, really, the fear of missing out is just that: fear.

Our mental and spiritual happiness isn’t derived solely from social happiness, but it’s certainly influenced by it. Being “in the know” feels good. Centuries ago, humans roamed from group to group, finding food sources, entertaining themselves and experiencing life to its fullest.

Understandably, this survival instinct isn’t as useful in modern society. Between work, school and home lifestyles, it can be difficult to consolidate one’s time.

Simultaneously, we’re working to consolidate and enhance communication between our fellow humans, keeping one another up to date on news, events and social interactions. As a result, it’s easy to slip through the cracks. It’s easy to feel a little left out sometimes.

Whether you read a newspaper, watch television, browse Facebook or skim Instagram, you’re likely engaging a slew of social-related information. It’s impossible to be present everywhere at once, but your mind might be attached to its obsolete need to be included and in the know.

How To Overcome Fear of Missing Out

Overcoming FOMO is a beautiful experience. Even in today’s fast-paced, highly digital society, it’s possible to disconnect. To do so, however, you’ll need to return to your body’s natural state.

Disconnecting from the digital world helps. As a result, your mind will revert to its natural state. Where inspiration is concerned, you’ll become less self-destructive due to pervasive—and inaccurate—thoughts about the world’s going-on.

I’m going to tell you how to beat FOMO:

The answer is to practice mindfulness.

Only 20 minutes is needed. Settle in, and let the negative thoughts pass. By practicing mindfulness through meditation or daily affirmations once per day, you can bring your mind’s FOMO urges down.

Remember: The digital world isn’t an accurate depiction of life. You—right here and now—are the only accurate observer. Take time to fully experience it!

Every so often, a wonderful, opportunity arises. What if you could make every moment wonderful? Great moments can be stumbled upon, but they can also be generated by your own thoughts, actions, and perceptions.

How You Spend Your Time Matters

Many people are unaware of how little their daily rituals matter. How you spend your hours is how you spend your years. Likewise, how you spend your years is how you spend a lifetime.

We’re comprised of our experiences. Wonderful memories and special moments can be a part of these experiences, too, if you let them in. Spend time with family members. Spend time with your friends. Rather than waiting for a vacation, savor all the small pieces which construct your day.

The fear of missing out can make you feel like you’re not participating in your own world. Fortunately, you can reallocate your attention to become more immersed. Pay attention to your surroundings.

Feel the moment…

If the opportunity for happiness arises, don’t turn it away. Embrace it.

True peace can be obtained when one withdraws their attention from the negative and tends to the positive.

How To Break The FOMO Loop

The FOMO loop might be strong, but it can be broken. Look around. What positive things might you be taking for granted? What would happen if they were taken away? The more you’re inclined to gratitude, the less likely you’ll be to lose inspiration, become anxious or become lonely.

Our world goes by quickly, and life can easily be taken for granted. This is why those who feel secure in their relationships aren’t compelled to feel ever-connected.

Sometimes, insulating yourself from the world’s many possibilities can result in a higher degree of gratification. Loosen your grip, and let things flow. You might be surprised by what happens next.

To learn more about the power of positive thinking, click the button below to download my free positive thinking guide. If you have thoughts or questions about how to overcome the fear of missing out, please comment below!

My “101 Lifetime Goals” List (And Why You Should Have One, Too)

Inkwell pen on paper to make a list of lifetime goals, by jack canfield

If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you don’t have enough goals. –Lou Holtz

Personal Goals: My “101 Lifetime Goals” list (and why you should have one, too)

Experts on the science of success know that the brain is a goal-seeking organism.  Whatever personal goals you give to your subconscious mind, it will work night and day to achieve them.

However, one goal isn’t good enough. Some goals take longer to achieve than others – and if you spend years working toward only one objective, you’re likely to get discouraged when it doesn’t happen right away.

But when you have a long list of goals you’d like to achieve, you have more to strive for, and more opportunities to check those goals off your list. And the rush you feel every time you check one of those goals off the list will inspire you to accomplish even more of them.

As my friend Brian Tracy says, SMART goals are essential to motivating yourself and others to achieve success. I absolutely agree with him and – as many of you can attest – I encourage everyone to start with a list!

What goals do YOU want to achieve in your lifetime?

Make a list of 101 goals you’d like to achieve in your life. Be as specific as possible. Include details such as when they will happen, where they will happen, how much you’ll make, what model you’ll buy, what size it will be, and so on.

Keep your goals somewhere you can review them often. You might want to put them on a deck of 3”x5” cards you shuffle through every morning, on a poster or piece of paper you hang on the wall beside your computer, or in a book you read each night before you fall asleep. By keeping them top of mind, you’ll be more likely to make them a reality.

And every time you achieve one of your goals, check it off the list and celebrate what you’ve managed to accomplish in your life!

 

Here’s my list – and examples of the goals I’ve achieved so far are in bold font.

For inspiration, check out the list of goals that I committed to achieving before I die:

Travel
I will travel to the following places:

  1. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
  2. Rome, Italy
  3. Paris, France
  4. London, England
  5. New Zealand
  6. India
  7. Bali
  8. Tahiti
  9. Nepal
  10. Tibet
  11. Turkey
  12. Africa (Morocco and Cameroon so far)
  13. Israel
  14. Russia
  15. Singapore, Thailand and Malaysia
  16. Vacation on a Greek Isle

(I have now traveled to more than 50 countries, and conducted seminars or given speeches in 47 of them.)

 I will visit and see the following sights:

  1. Disneyworld
  2. Epcott Center
  3. The Eiffel Tower
  4. The Vatican
  5. The Great Wall of China
  6. The Taj Mahal
  7. The Great Pyramids
  8. Machu Pichu
  9. The Terracotta Soldiers of Xian, China

Adventure
I will:

  1. Go fishing in the Northwest Territories
  2. Climb on a glacier in Alaska
  3. Go on a safari in Africa
  4. Become a certified scuba diver
  5. Snorkel in Hawaii
  6. Learn to sail
  7. Skydive
  8. Ride in a hot air balloon
  9. Go on a river-rafting trip
  10. Go kayaking
  11. Attend Vic Braden’s tennis camp (Deleted due to ruptured disc)
  12. Fly in a glider
  13. Dive in a submarine
  14. Learn to windsurf
  15. Learn to ski
  16. Ski black diamond level (Deleted due to ruptured disc)
  17. Ski Vail, Aspen, Beaver Creek, Sun Valley & Jackson Hole
  18. Ski in Europe (Deleted due to ruptured disc)
  19. Explore all 5 of Hawaii’s islands
  20. Swim with the dolphins
  21. Go to the Super Bowl
  22. Go to the Rose Bowl
  23. Go to the Final Four College Basketball Championships
  24. Go to the Olympics
  25. Take one of my sons to the Olympics

Personal Achievements

  1. Appear on the Phil Donahue Show (deleted because it is no longer airing, but I have appeared on the Larry King Show, Fox and Friends, The Today Show and Good Morning America, as well as more than 100 other television shows and more than 700 radio shows)
  2. Appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show (I also appeared on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday this past year.)
  3. Write a best selling book (61 best-sellers so far)
  4. Make one million dollars in one year ($20 million best year so far, plus $20 million one year when we sold one of my companies)
  5. Golf 18 holes under 90 (Deleted due to ruptured disc)
  6. Run a 10k race
  7. Run 14 miles in less than 3 hours
  8. Meet a U.S. president while he/she is still in office (I had lunch at the White House but President Bush was traveling in Texas; I also met Bill Clinton but after he left office.)
  9. Build or buy my dream house
  10. Own a vacation home in Hawaii
  11. Own my own pool table
  12. Assemble a good art collection
  13. Own a Mercedes or Lexus (I have owned 6 Lexus cars so far)
  14. Speak in 30 or more countries (47 so far)
  15. Give a university commencement address (3 so far)
  16. Attend my 50th Harvard reunion in 2016
  17. Publish 100 books (225 so far)
  18. Speak at the Million Dollar Roundtable
  19. Produce a TV infomercial
  20. Write a children’s book
  21. Complete NLP training
  22. Produce a PBS program
  23. See my sons Christopher, Oran and Kyle graduate college (No longer important – they took alternative education paths, although Christopher, now age 26, was just accepted into the degree program at the Berklee College of Music in Boston)
  24. Have $3,000,000 net worth when I retire (I have much more than that already)
  25. Sell $20,000 worth of books and tapes at a live event in one day (I have sold $160,000 in one day)
  26. Have 1,000,000 people graduate from the GOALS Program (Over 600,000 so far)
  27. Have 500,000 people graduate from the STAR Program
  28. Sell 1,000,000,000 books (500 million so far)
  29. Sell 1,000,000 audio albums
  30. Learn to speak Spanish fluently
  31. Appear in a movie (The Secret, 2006; The Opus, 2009; The Tapping Solution, 2009; Beyond Belief, 2009; The Truth, 2010; The Gift, 2010; The Keeper of the Keys, 2012).
  32. Learn to paint with oils
  33. Publish a poem
  34. Master 5 magic tricks
  35. Learn to sing and play 10 popular songs on the guitar
  36. Give a speech or conduct a seminar in all 50 states
  37. Appear on the cover of a magazine (over 20 so far)
  38. Get paid $10,000 for a single talk ($70,000 highest fee to date for a single talk)
  39. Keynote an NSA conference
  40. Win over a $1000 in a casino ($3000 at the New Orleans Hilton Casino)
  41. Give a talk to an audience of 10,000 people (12,000 people the largest so far)
  42. See one of my books piled high in the window of a bookstore
  43. Learn how to take world-class photographs (I just bought a Canon Mark III D5 Camera.)
  44. Type 50 words a minute
  45. Weigh 175 pounds (I’ve lost as much as 35 pounds and gotten down to as low as 185)
  46. Bench press 200 pounds
  47. Run a mile under 6 minutes (Deleted due to ruptured disc)
  48. Do a fire-walk
  49. Have a personal gym in my home
  50. Conduct a training for a professional athletic team
  51. Write a book for couples with my wife
  52. Write a book for teenagers
  53. Write a children’s book
  54. Have a syndicated newspaper column
  55. Take more guitar lessons
  56. Have an incredible 50th birthday party
  57. Convene Two Beautiful People Conferences (TLC)
  58. Meet the Following People:
    Garth Brooks
    Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton
    Jimmy Carter
    The Dalai Lama
    Arnold Schwarzenegger
    George Lucas
    Kenny Rogers
  1. Attend the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, Tennessee

In 2006, I added the following goals to my list:

  1. Attend the National Championship College Football Game
  2. Attend the Country Music Awards
  3. Take the Landmark Forum Training
  4. Create a dynamic coaching and training community with 500 or more members
  5. Sell one billion books by the year 2020 (500 million so far)
  6. Visit Buenos Aires, Argentina
  7. Attend the Oscar Awards ceremony
  8. Attend the Radio Music Awards in Los Vegas, Nevada
  9. Retire with a $30 million net worth
  10. Live to be 100+ years old
  11. Receive the CPAE designation from the National Speakers Association **
  12. Create a curriculum guide for a college course based on The Success Principles
  13. Create a high school curriculum guide based on The Success Principles
  14. Create a Curriculum Guide for teachers based on the Chicken Soup for the Soul stories
  15. Visit Japan
  16. Visit the Achawara tribe and work with a shaman in the rainforest with Lynn Twist
  17. Learn to play “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” by Bach on the piano
  18. Take a formal training in EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) (I’ve even written a book on it.)
  19. Develop a leadership training
  20. Go to Dubai
  21. Obtain a $1,000,000 advance for a book (The 30-Day Sobriety Solution)

My 2018 New Year Goals Update: 

2017 has had many successes. I’m adding 3 more goals to my list that are very important to me, my business, and my family. Here’s what I will be focusing on in 2018:

  1. Have 1,000,000 people (teachers, trainers, coaches, and counselors) actively teaching the Success Principles by the year 2030
  2. Enroll 5,000 people into our Train the Trainer Online program
  3. To have at least 100 “Free Days” (24-hour days from midnight to midnight with no activities for work), so I can spend more time with my wife, my family, and my friends 

I’m looking forward to everything that 2017 has to bring. I wish you a wonderful year.

I wrote this list back in 1989 at the age of 45 – and I’m proud to say that I’ve crossed more than a few goals off the list – 80 to be exact!

Once you’ve completed your list, please share some of your own personal development goals and professional goals in the comments below.

I’d love to read them!

Learn How to Transform Your Life and Career

Most of us have big dreams for our lives.

We yearn to create joyous, abundant, and meaningful existences for ourselves. We want to experience deep love and friendship. We want to feel mentally and physically strong, completely healthy, and financially secure. And we want to know that we’re great at what we do – and that we’re making a positive impact on the world. I’ve created a webinar called the 7 Pillars of True Life Transformation that will help you learn exactly how to live the life that you’re meant to live.

 

You May Also Enjoy:

Visualization Techniques to Affirm Your Desired Outcomes: A Step-by-Step Guide

How to Create an Empowering Vision Board

5 Reasons Self Motivated People Win at Life

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How to Make 2018 Your Best Year Ever

Regardless of how you ring in the New Year (with lively parties and fireworks or cozy celebrations at home), there is a recurring theme at every New Year’s celebration: to the make this year the best year ever.

best year ever

“If you get clear on the what, the how will be taken care of.” – Jack Canfield

Here are a few things you can do to make 2018 your best year yet.

1. Review Last Year

First, take inventory of last year. By reviewing last year and all the ups and downs of 2017, we are provided with the map to moving forward into 2018. Reflecting deeply on last year can highlight your successes and – more importantly – the areas most in need of improvement.

Find a quiet room in your house and carve out a bit of meditation time. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself the hard questions; the answers to the hardest of questions will only help you grow. Use a journal to collect your thoughts so that you can refer back to your answers.

  • What were the biggest accomplishments of 2017?
  • Why were those accomplishments meaningful for you? What did they signify?
  • Did you have any regrets? What were they?
  • What obstacles did you face?
  • What goals did you reach?
  • What goals did you not meet?
  • What are you not happy with in your life right now? This could be personal, professional, spiritual. Identify the areas that you want to improve, and be as specific as you can be.
  • And finally, what was the overall recurring theme of 2017?

By taking the time to review the events of the previous year, you not only have the opportunity to be grateful for all the good moments, but you also gain the knowledge of where and what to improve.

It is only when you know which areas truly need improving (and why), that you can work towards creating the best year ever.

Make 2018 Your Best Year Ever By Creating Your Extraordinary Life Plan.

2.  Try This Instead of Making New Year’s Resolutions

Next, don’t make New Year’s resolutions. On the outside, making New Year’s resolutions seems like a festive way to bolster optimism and prepare for the upcoming year.

However, there is a reason for so many jokes about resolutions fizzling out before Valentine’s Day: many individuals simply do not follow through on their resolutions – despite their best intentions.

Instead of setting resolutions, set New Year’s goals.

Although those words may seem interchangeable, understanding the difference can help you make the best out of 2018.

While a resolution is intended to be a promise you keep indefinitely, a goal refers to a specific achievement by a specific date.

An example of a resolution is something like, “I will go the gym every day.”

You intend to keep this promise, but because it is unrealistic, you lose momentum once you miss a few days and you realize you cannot keep this promise.

A goal is:

“I will run a 5K by April 30th, 2018.”

Unlike the resolution which has no end in sight, this goal has a very specific and measurable achievement (run a 5K) and deadline (April 30th). Because of these characteristics, goals are much easier to keep. And yes, it might entail going to the gym a lot, but you are not committing to more than you can realistically handle.

When you make your New Year’s goals, be sure to be as specific as you can. That is one of the keys to your success.

3. Create a Breakthrough Goal for the Year

A well-formed goal is both powerful and measurable. Specifically, a goal must quantify something, and it must list a specific date for completion. Going back to the goal versus resolution example from above, a good goal is:

“I will participate in the charity 5K on April 21st, and I will complete it in 30 minutes or less.”

As admirable of a goal as that is, your year has even greater chances of success if you set a breakthrough goal. A breakthrough goal is a goal that will quantum leap your success, a large goal that could dramatically changes your life dramatically.

Carefully consider possible breakthrough goals for yourself. What would dramatically change your life?

Instead of just running a 5K, set a breakthrough goal such as losing 35 pounds or totally eliminating the need for a certain medication.

Instead of just volunteering at the polls, set a breakthrough goal to run for a local office.

Or set a breakthrough goal to write a book, earn your Master’s degree or get your real estate license.

Because a breakthrough goal has the power to transform your life, it also has the power to make 2018 your best year ever. This fact alone makes setting a breakthrough goal one of the most powerful things you can do for your future success and future happiness. Follow these tips to make 2018 your best year ever. 

Make 2018 Your Best Year Ever, One Breakthrough Goal at a Time

If you are looking for a roadmap to achieve any goal and create the life you want, look no further than my Your Extraordinary Life Plan Program. 

This powerful video course is my ultimate training program in setting and achieving your biggest goals. I’ll walk you through the steps needed to create a crystal clear vision of what you want, choosing a BIG, ambitious goal, and putting together a complete plan of action and achievement. Make 2018 your best year yet.yelp-launch-bottom-blog-post-650x300

23 Questions to Celebrate Your Year & Set New Year Goals for 2018

As you set your new year goals for 2018, it’s a good idea to take stock of the progress you’ve made toward your goals this year. For many people, this review is unpleasant and can even lead to a downward spiral.

celebrate-your-year-2017-goals

If you didn’t achieve all of the goals you set at the beginning of the year, you may feel like you have failed. Our self-esteem can take a hit, we can become disheartened and discouraged, and our motivation drops. Some people actually become depressed.

If this sounds familiar, it’s time to reframe how you look at success. Zeroing in on accomplishments that didn’t happen puts your focus on what you lack, rather than on what you have (the things you did experience and accomplish). This subtle mental trap leads to a host of negative consequences, which usually leads to attracting more lack.

The answer is not giving up the review of your year. Periodic review is essential to the process of growth and goal achievement. The key is to acknowledge, appreciate, and celebrate what you did accomplish, and then to refocus on the goals that you still want to achieve.

Achieving a goal is a lot like flying a plane. You’re guaranteed to be off course 99% of the time, which means that if you want to successfully reach your destination, it is essential to periodically check your position and correct your course. December and January is an ideal time to perform this much-needed review and analysis.

Create a “Win List” For the Year

One of the techniques I teach my coaching clients is to create a detailed “Win List” at the end of the year. Its purpose is to help you acknowledge all of your wins, especially those that didn’t start as a written goal or intention.

This powerful technique takes about 30 minutes to complete. Start by listing all of the goals you set and achieved this year. Then list any other wins you think of – both large and small.

Here are some questions to help identify your successes.

• What wins or progress did you achieve in business?
• Did you discontinue an old product or develop a new product or product line?
• Did you identify a new market to focus on?
• Did you create any new marketing pieces or campaigns?
• Did you delegate any tasks to become more productive? This could include adding new staff and/or assistants, such as a housekeeper, executive assistant, gardener, errand runner, babysitter, or child care person. It also might include putting new systems into place to increase your efficiency.
• Did you buy, use or learn to use any new technology? This includes mental, emotional or spiritual technology, as well as mechanical, electronic and digital technology?
• Did you spend more time in nature?
• Did you develop any new supportive habits (such as meditation, exercise, sleep, or gratitude)? Did you overcome any non-supportive habits (for example, addiction to alcohol, caffeine, sugar, video games, porn, gambling, or shopping)?
• How did you grow in leadership?
• Did you deliver any presentations or speeches or develop new programs?
• Did you develop any new abilities, skills, or competencies?
• What success did you achieve in the areas of financial income, investments, or debt reduction?
• Did you create any new relationships or deepen existing relationships? Consider both business and personal relationships.
• Did you make any progress in self-development?
• Did you attend any positive events (e.g., seminars, lectures, concerts, theater, or sports)?
• Did you experience any positive events with your family?
• Were there any positive events in relation to your house or apartment?
• Did you take any trips or vacations?
• Were there any positive additions to your life?
• Were there any positive events in your community?
• How about any positive events in your spiritual life (e.g., church services, meditation, retreats, rituals)?
• Did you experience any positive events in regards to letting go (e.g., bad habits, negative people, or clutter)?
• Did you have any wins in health and fitness (e.g., weight, exercise, cholesterol, sports, or endurance)?

Reduce Mental Friction

Mental “friction” caused by negative thoughts and feelings will slow down your progress as you work to achieve your goals. By using this technique to focus your attention on what you did achieve, you’ll shift into a state of gratitude and joy, accelerating your momentum into the new year.

Begin Thinking About and Setting New Year Goals for 2018

Once you’ve gone through and written down what your successes are for this year, I want you then to start thinking about setting goals for next year. Goals need to be specific and measurable. How much, and by when? When do you want to accomplish it?

Also, review your long-term goals. Maybe you have a goal to write a book, to become a professor, to become a multi-millionaire. That may be five, or 10 years out. But you want to think about, “What do I have to accomplish in 2018 to make sure I get to my long-term goals.”

Here are 6 areas of your life that I want you to set goals for:

1. Set Goals for Your Financial Life

Have a goal for your financial life. How much do you want to make in 2018? Do you want to have a side income? Maybe you want to be debt free by the end of the year. Think hard about your finances and set a specific and realistic goal for the year.

2. Set Goals for Your Career

Have a goal for your job and career. What do you want to accomplish at work in 2018? Do you want to make more money, get a promotion, or release a new product? Use your win list to evaluate what you want to accomplish this year in your career.

3. Set Goals for Your Relationships

Have at least one goal for the most important relationships in your life. Think about your family, your friends, your significant others. How can you help them achieve more? How can you give back to them? In what ways can you improve these relationships?

4. Set Goals For Fun and Recreation

Have a goal for fun and recreation. Mine is 135 free days in 2018. That means no work from midnight to midnight, including 30 vacation days with my wife.

5. Set Goals for Fitness and Health

What’s a goal for you in terms of health and fitness? It might be running a marathon or achieving your ideal weight. Perhaps it’s to become more flexible or strong. My goal for 2018 is to weigh 195 pounds or less by December 21st, be able to do 40 pushups in a row, do 100 hours of yoga, and improve my posture.

6. Set Personal Goals

Set personal goals for yourself for the year. What is something you want to do, simply because you want to do it? This year, I’m going to commit to two hours a week to learn Spanish so I can talk to the people in Southern California where I live a lot more effectively than I currently do. I’m also going to read 50 books, and totally declutter and reorganize my office and my garage. What’s a personal goal for you?

Tell me in the comments below, what is one big goal you’d like to achieve in 2018? Take time to really think about that. What is a goal that you want to achieve that would help you create an extraordinary life, that will be a breakthrough to a new level for you? This is possible, and I want to help you achieve that.

Remember, review your past year, really realize you’ve achieved a lot, and feel good about that. That’s building the poker chips of self-esteem that will allow you to take the risks you need to take in the new year to create your extraordinary life.

Create Your Extraordinary Life One Big Goal at a Time

If you are looking for a roadmap to achieve any goal and create the life you want, look no further than my Your Extraordinary Life Plan Program. 

This powerful, brand-new, video course is my ultimate training program in setting and achieving your biggest goals. I’ll walk you through the steps needed to create a crystal clear vision of what you want, choosing a BIG, ambitious goal, and putting together a complete plan of action and achievement. Make 2018 your best year yet.yelp-launch-bottom-blog-post-650x300

[LIVE INTERVIEW] Removing the Mask of Masculinity With Lewis Howes

Recently, I had the privilege of interviewing Lewis Howes about his new book, The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationship, and Live Their Fullest Lives.

For men in the modern era, this book is chock full of wisdom about how to improve your life and shed misconceptions that may be holding you back. My time reading Lewis’ book was incredibly eye-opening and informative, and I wanted to take the time to highlight some of my main takeaways from The Mask of Masculinity by talking with Lewis.

Watch my interview now below!

How The Mask of Masculinity Can Help Men and Women Alike

For hundreds of years, society has conditioned men about how they should act and behave. Some of these conditions are good, such as bravery, respect, and honor.

Some, however, can be a detriment, such as the idea that men should show no emotion, should be able to handle everything on their own, and should treat aggression as an admirable trait.

For men, the first step in keeping these misguided ideals from holding them back is to recognize them. Likewise, for women, it’s important to recognize when the men in their lives are being influenced by these ideals so that they can act accordingly and help them move past them.

This is where The Mask of Masculinity offers real value. It shines a light on the various masks that men sometimes wear, why they are often detrimental, and how they can put them aside in order to enjoy a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Why do Men Wear Masks?

Over the years, society has created an image of how “real men” should act and behave.

These ideals of a “real man” come at us from every angle.

They’re in the movies we watch, the books we read, the stories in our history texts, and the pressures from our peers. However, not every man truly exhibit these ideals. Left to be themselves, they may prefer to behave in ways entirely different from how society has conditioned them to behave. The pressure to behave as expected, though, is intense, and for many men, the solution is to wear masks.

They spend years trying to convince others and themselves that they embody all of the ideals a man is supposed to embody, and in the process, they often lose sight of who they really are.

The Masks that Men Wear

There are a number of masks men sometimes wear in order to convey the idea that they really are what society expects them to be.

These masks include:

  • The Stoic Mask – Demands that men should never show emotion
  • The Athletic Mask – Demands that men must be physically superior to their peers
  • The Aggressive Mask – Demands that men show aggression whenever they are angry
  • The Sexual Mask – Dictates that men must be promiscuous and successful with the opposite sex
  • The Joker Mask – Demands that men use humor to deflect and dodge real issues
  • The Know-it-all Mask – Demands that men be intellectually superior to their peers
  • The Invincible Mask – Demands that men show no signs of emotional or physical pain
  • The Material Mask – Demands that men pursue material wealth and possessions
  • The Alpha Mask – Demands that men portray an image of dominance over their peers

In some situations, these masks can prove useful, particularly in a society that dictates this is how men should behave. This occasional usefulness is perhaps the reason why these masks have stuck around for so long even though we have now largely moved into a world where they are no longer necessary.

In many other instances, though, these masks can shackle men to an image that doesn’t truly represent them, leading to disappointment, failure, and overall unhappiness.

Why it’s Time to Take the Masks Off

Society convinces many men must behave a certain way lest they become unsuccessful and ostracized. This idea, however, is a lie and a dangerous one at that.

Sometimes, it’s okay for men to be stoic. Sometimes it’s okay for a man to be humorous, or athletic, or pursue material wealth.

However, it’s also okay for men to be open, tender, and vulnerable. In fact, the men who are able to exhibit these latter traits when these traits are truly what they are feeling on the inside are the ones who are the most successful in their relationships, their career, and their life as a whole.

Successful, happy men are not confined to a cookie-cutter ideal of what men should be like. Successful, happy men are the ones who are true to themselves in spite of the ideals they’ve been conditioned to.

As a society, it’s time we take off the mask and allow ourselves and other men to dictate for themselves how they should behave. Traits such as humor, athleticism, and intellect should be encouraged when they are genuine. So should traits such as vulnerability and openness. When these traits are genuine, they are incredibly valuable. When they are a mask, though, they are rarely of any value and only hold us back.

I’m honored to have been able to speak with Lewis and to read his book, and I hope that men and women alike will take the time to better understand the pitfalls of wearing these masks and learn how to move past them into a life that is more fulfilling and rewarding.

If you would like to learn more, I cannot recommend enough taking time to order and read The Mask of Masculinity for yourself.

About Lewis Howes

Lewis is a New York Times Bestselling author of the hit book, The School of Greatness. He is a lifestyle entrepreneur, high-performance business coach and keynote speaker. A former professional football player and two-sport All-American, he is a current USA Men’s National Handball Team athlete. He hosts a top 100 podcast in the world, The School of Greatness, which has over 40 million downloads since it launched in 2013. He was recognized by The White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30.

It’s Never Too Late to Become a Millionaire

I want to reveal something about myself that I hope will inspire you in your life. The truth is that the first time I earned a check for $1,000,000 was when I was 51 years old. It’s never too late to become a millionaire.

become a millionaire

In fact, if you consider that I graduated from Harvard University when I was 21, it took me an utter 30 years to amass the knowledge, the connections, and the experience required to generate that much money.

Slow and steady won the game. How about you? What can you do in your life to develop the millionaire mindset? And I want you to realize today with everything that’s available on the internet, you don’t have to wait 30 years to become a millionaire.

4 Things You Need to do to Become a Millionaire

1. Develop a Millionaire Mindset

First, you must have the belief that you can easily become a millionaire.

Belief comes from making a choice. All beliefs are thoughts. They’re thoughts you think over and over and over until you don’t even realize it’s a conscious thought anymore, it just seems like it’s reality. But you have the ability to change your beliefs.

To develop your belief, practice daily affirmations like:

“I am so happy and grateful that I’m now earning $1,000,000 a year.”

“I’m so happy and grateful that I am looking at my net worth and my stock account and it shows $2,000,000 or $20,000,000.” (Or whatever it is.)

“I’m so happy and grateful that I’m living a millionaire lifestyle.”

If you do the affirmation over and over, it becomes the new belief that becomes your reality and then everything in your unconscious mind and subconscious mind will start to organize itself to actually help you create it.

Here’s a video with a few more tips to help you develop that millionaire mindset:

2. Know Your Purpose Behind Becoming a Millionaire

The second thing is you must decide what being a millionaire means to you. These things that will keep you focused. Is it security? Is it freedom? Power? Prestige? The ability to travel anywhere you want in the world? Philanthropy? The ability to make a difference in the lives of others? Have the money to invest? Is it the ownership of a house, two houses, or a vacation home?

Whatever that experience is for you, make sure that you write it down and get very clear what’s the why behind being a millionaire.

For me, becoming a millionaire wasn’t about the big house and the big car. Now I have those things, but the real purpose for me was about having the freedom to pursue my visions and to live my life purposefully.

  • To have the resources.
  • To be able to hire staff.
  • To have the electronic, video, and sound equipment at seminars.
  • To be able to rent rooms, do PR, and pay for advertising.
  • To be able to support my coaches.

All those things that I wanted to do had to do with the vision of changing the world. I wanted to inspire and empower people to live their highest vision, so if everyone did, everything in the world would work.

Make sure you get really clear about what is your purpose behind becoming a millionaire. Because that’s going to drive it more than the actual million dollars.

It’s the feeling that you want to achieve and the impact that you want to have that is much more important.

I suggest that you create a vision board of what you want and the pictures that would represent the lifestyle and experiences you expect to have when you’re a millionaire.

vision board is simple, it could be on your door, your mirror, or your refrigerator door. It could be on paper, construction paper, or wherever you want to put it. It’s simply a place where you staple, glue, tape, or however words like abundance, prosperity, freedom, travel, unlimited potential, and images.

Be sure to include images of the vacations, the things you want to own, you on a stage, your children graduating, or whatever it might be that you think having a million dollar lifestyle would give you.

3. Transform Your Financial Comfort Zone

We all have a financial set point just like the thermostat in your house.

When we get to a certain level of earnings, our thermostat turns off the furnace, just like it turns off the furnace in your house when it reaches 68 or 70 degrees.

And for some people making $75,000 a year is their comfort zone. They’ll never make more than that unless they reset their thermostat. You have to reset it.

I’ll share a story with you about how this financial set point works…

40 years ago I got a new job working at a training company in Los Angeles and the owner of that training company said he was going to go buy some shirts if I’d like to come along with him.

We went to a store called Allandale’s in Westlake, California and the cheapest shirt in that store was around $100. The owner was buying shirts for like $150.

I had never bought a shirt for more than $38 from a place like Nordstrom’s. This was way out of my comfort zone to spend that much money on a shirt.

I wanted him to think that I was successful so I bought one shirt that cost me $148. I’ll never forget this. I took that shirt home and I wore it and I sent it to the cleaners.

When it came back, I noticed that it was always the first shirt I would reach for. It was a better quality shirt, it was designed better, it looked better, and it felt better.

Pretty soon my comfort zone changed from $38 shirts to $150 shirts and those are the only shirts I buy now and I’ve bought ever since. The act of moving into a new place shifted my entire sense of myself and made me uncomfortable wearing the lesser quality shirt.

Comfort zones are very powerful and you can change your comfort zone by visualizing, affirming, and taking actions in that new comfort zone that become a habit.

4. Decide Exactly What You Want in Life

Finally, you’re going to need to decide how much money you want to have in your life. The exact annual salary, the exact net profit from your business, your total net worth, your portfolio of investments, investment income, and how much you want to have when you retire.

You have to believe it’s possible to attain that. Come up with a specific number.

To stay focused on this number I want to teach you about a powerful tool which I’ve mentioned called affirmations. Affirmations are simply statements you repeat over and over and over affirming your new reality.

I like to use the very simple little formula, “I’m so happy and grateful that I now…

For example, “I’m so happy and grateful that I now am looking at my bank statement of $1,000,000 a year.”

Once you’ve created your affirmation, based on your goal and the numbers that you came up with, spend at least two to three minutes in the morning and two to three minutes at night repeating your affirmation every day. If you have three or four affirmations that’s great, go through them one at a time. Close your eyes and visualize having that reality.

To help yourself develop a millionaire mindset and shift your comfort zone I want you to write several affirmations that are expressing your eventual income and lifestyle.

 “I’m so happy and grateful that I now have a $200,000 a year income or $500,000 a year income or $1,000,000 income.”

“I’m so happy and grateful that I now spend my days traveling the world, solving problems to impact investing.”

“I’m so happy and grateful that I fully funded our kid’s college education expenses and have secured it in a 529 plan.”

Take a few minutes twice a day when you first wake up and right before you go to bed and repeat each affirmation. Close your eyes and see it clearly.

As long as you’re intending it, even if it’s vague, it works.

Make sure you visualize it as if it’s already come true and then feel the feelings you would feel. Fill in all the details of where you’d be, who else is there, what’s being said and as I said, most important, create the experience of the emotions you’d be feeling if you’d already achieved it. Just like an actor.

Would it be joy, gratitude, happiness, pride, feeling powerful, or generous? Whatever you think you would feel, create that feeling in your body.

Use these financial goals as your destination. Your financial goal is one of your important destinations, the affirmation and the visualization is the car you’re going to drive to get there, and the emotional feeling is the fuel that’s going to propel that car. Research seems to show now that the emotions are the most critical part of this process.

Take Action

Here is your millionaire mindset homework to complete after reading this blog. Pull out your checkbook and write a check payable to yourself for the amount of money that you want to make in the next year. Sign and date the check, and place it somewhere where you’re going to see it every day.

Use it as a daily reminder of where you want to be, the work you want to do, and whatever is necessary to reach that goal. Put it on your mirror, your refrigerator, or under the glass on your desk at work. You could even photograph it and make it a screensaver on your computer.

Leave a comment below and share one thing you’re going to do to ensure you reach the financial goal that you set for yourself within the next year.

If you want to learn more about creating a vision board and creating affirmations that will change your life, click the banner below to get my free success tool, 21 Ways to Make Your Vision Board More Powerful.

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