Are You Lying to Yourself?

are-you-lying-to-yourself

The person most likely holding you back from success is you.

How? Self-deception. Lying to yourself is the simplest way to ignore the challenges and situations that push you to achieve more.

Today, I’m going to talk to you about how to get out of denial and come to terms with the things that are holding you back from success.

Face What Is Not Working in Your Life

If you are going to be successful, you have to get out of denial and face what isn’t working in your life.

Do you make excuses for the lack of results in your business or your career? Do you defend or ignore how toxic your work environment is?

Maybe you make excuses for a bad marriage? Are you in denial about your lack of energy, your excess weight, your ill health, or your level of physical fitness?

Successful people face these circumstances head on. They heed the warning signs and take appropriate action, no matter how uncomfortable or challenging it might be.

How to Recognize Denial

What does denial look like?

Though some situations in our lives can be uncomfortable, embarrassing, and painful, we often live with them. Worse, we hide them behind myths, accepted views, and platitudes.

We don’t even realize we are in denial.

We use phrases such as, “It’s just what guys do.” “You can’t control teenagers these days.” “He’s just venting his frustrations.” “It’s got nothing to do with me.” “It’s none of my business.” “It’s not my place to say.” or “I don’t want to rock the boat.”

Lying to Yourself is NOT the Easy Route

Occasionally, we'll even pretend a situation is working when it isn't. We don't realize that if we acknowledge the bad situation sooner, it is often less painful to resolve.daily-affirmations-for-success-guide-2

Acknowledging the situation is cheaper, and the circumstances might be more beneficial. Likewise, the problems would be easier to solve and we could be more honest with everyone concerned. In turn, we would feel better about ourselves, and we would certainly have more integrity.

The problems would be easier to solve and we could be more honest with everyone concerned. In turn, we would feel better about ourselves, and we would certainly have more integrity.

But in order to accomplish this, we have to get past our denial.

Acknowledge the Bad Situation

Successful people are more committed to finding out why things are going wrong and fixing them. They do not defend their own position or maintain their ignorance.

A big part of not lying to yourself is recognizing bad situations and then doing something about them.

Often denial is the notion that something even worse will happen if you stop lying to yourself and take corrective action.

In other words... We’re afraid to face the truth.

Solutions Do Not Always Require Drastic Change

Therapists can tell you that in spite of overwhelming clues that their spouse is having an affair, many patients will not confront their cheating partner.

They simply don’t want to face the fact that the marriage might be over.

It could be they don’t want to deal with the emotional stress and the physical inconvenience of a divorce. Or they don’t want to deal with the financial upheaval or the possibility that they might have to move or get a job.

Many of the situations I described may require drastic changes in how you live, work, and relate to others. Remember that the solution to your problems isn’t always to quit your job, get a divorce, fire the employee, or ground your teenager.

It may be more productive to choose less extreme alternatives.

These alternatives can be a discussion with your boss, marriage counseling, setting boundaries with your teenager, coworkers, friends and family, scaling back your expenditures, or seeking competent professional help.

Face Your Fears and Take Action

Of course, these less drastic solutions still require you to face your fears and take action.

But you have to face what isn’t working first.

The good news is that the more you face uncomfortable situations, the better you get at it. When you face one thing that isn’t working, the next time you face a challenge, you are more likely to take immediate action.

And the sooner you take action, the easier it is to handle.

Choose an Area of Your Life to Improve

As usual, I want to leave you with a bit of homework to complete. Take the time right now to make a list of what isn’t working in your life.

Start with the seven major areas where you would normally set goals:

  1. Financial
  2. Career or Business
  3. Free Time or Family Time
  4. Health and Fitness
  5. Relationships
  6. Personal Growth
  7. Contribution or Making a Difference

Make a Plan 

Ask yourself:

“What’s not working? How can I improve it? What requests can I make? What action steps can I take to get each of these situations to work out the way I would like them to?”

Do you need to talk to someone? Call a repair person? Ask someone for help? Learn a new skill? Find a new resource? Read a book? Call an expert?

Just choose one and make a plan to fix it. Hold yourself accountable, and leave a comment below of at least one thing you’re going to fix right now. I’ll be sure to follow up with you.

Affirmations can help you to improve all areas of your life. They will help you attract into your life all the love, appreciation, success, and abundance you desire and deserve. Learn more from my step-by-step affirmations guide to replace your limiting beliefs and achieve success. Click below to learn more. 

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This Holiday Season, Give Yourself the Gift of Transformation

Free Online Goal Setting Course

The holidays can be a challenging time for many people. Above and beyond the family drama, the pressure to get the perfect gifts and create the perfect celebration, and/or the loneliness that often strikes during this season, there’s also the lingering feeling that you could have done MORE this year.

You could have worked harder, saved more money, completed more projects, crossed more items off your to-do list, spent more time on your relationships, etc. etc.

Sound familiar?

If you’re wrestling with any of these feelings – or if you would simply love to hit the ground running in January and set yourself up for greater success in 2016 – I invite you to give yourself a powerful gift this month by taking part in my free 10-Day Transformation series.

Over the course of 10 days, you’ll receive daily lessons that will help you overcome the obstacles that have been holding you back from achieving your biggest goals and enjoying deeper, more fulfilling relationships with the important people in your life.

You’ll learn how to regain 100% control over your life... heal old wounds... gain clarity on what your true purpose is... and clear your path of the roadblocks that have been preventing you from creating an ideal life filled with joy, meaning, and passion.

This is the most popular free training I have offered.

More than 85,000 people have already gone through this 10-day series and experienced incredible results.

Now it’s your turn. Here’s your chance to let go of old habits and ideas that no longer serve you. Not only will the lessons you learn help you get more meaning and joy from the holidays, they will also help ensure that 2016 is your best year yet!

Click here to learn more and sign up. I look forward to seeing you participate in the series!  


5 Steps to Achieve Your Own Personal Transformation

Transform your life

5 Steps to Achieve Your Own Personal Transformation – and Make 2016 a Standout Year

December is a season of transformation – which means it’s the perfect time to set aside an hour amid the bustle and whirl of activity and spend a few moments contemplating the idea of personal transformation – and what that means for you.

Over the course of the next few weeks, are you hoping to transition from a state of darkness into one of emerging light, as represented by the solstice? Would you like to awaken a deeper sense of love for yourself and others, as represented by the many powerful symbols of peace and compassion that are so abundant this time of year?

Or do you simply want to say goodbye to old behaviors that no longer serve you, and say hello to a more positive and motivated incarnation of yourself, as we bid farewell to the old year and welcome the new?

No matter what kind of personal transformation you would like to accomplish in the next few weeks, here are five of my most powerful tips on how to create remarkable change in your life – by focusing on yourself first:

1. Complete the past to embrace the future

One of the biggest reasons why we find it difficult to move forward in life is because we haven’t properly dealt with the things that are holding us back.

Are you holding onto past hurts, past anger or fear, or past incompletes? Releasing these anchors could be the final step you need to complete your past and embrace your future.

I’ve known people who have forgiven their parents and doubled their productivity and ability to achieve their goals, almost overnight. I’ve known others who have finally sat down with an accountant and got their financial numbers in order – and doubled their income in a matter of months as a result. I even know someone who spent the weekend cleaning out his garage once – and scored a new dream client the following Monday!

HOLIDAY CHALLENGE:

I encourage you to take some time before the end of the month and make a list of all the anchors that are weighing you down – from unresolved issues with your family or loved ones, conversations you’ve been putting off having, projects around the house that you keep delaying – then create a schedule for completing every item on your list over the next few weeks.

You will be amazed at how liberated you feel!

2. Embrace change

In order to achieve personal transformation, you must embrace the fact that change is not only necessary, but it is inevitable.

After all, as President John F. Kennedy once said, “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

When you resist that change, you risk being swept away by it. But when you choose to embrace change wholeheartedly as an inevitable part of life, looking for ways to use new changes to make your life richer, easier, and more fulfilling, your life will work much better. You will experience change as an opportunity for growth and new experiences, rather than a potential source of discomfort or fear.

HOLIDAY CHALLENGE:

Take some time this holiday season to consider your life and decide where you most need to grow.

Ask yourself:

  • What’s changing in my life that I’m currently resisting?
  • Why am I resisting that change?
  • What am I afraid of with respect to this change?
  • What am I afraid might happen to me?
  • What’s the payoff for my keeping things the way they are?
  • What’s the cost I’m paying for keeping things the way they are?
  • What benefits might there be in this change?
  • What’s the next step I could take to cooperate with this change?
  • When will I take this step?

When you choose to cooperate with change, adapt to it, and benefit from it, you will thrive no matter what life throws your way.

3. Transform your inner critic into an inner coach

Research indicates that people talk to themselves about 50,000 times a day – and that 80% of that self-talk is negative.

So if you have a voice inside you that says things like, “I shouldn’t have said that... they don’t like me... I’m never going to be able to pull this off... I’m a fraud... I’m so disorganized... I’ll never be good enough...” you are certainly not alone.

The problem with all this negative self-talk is that we actually BELIEVE it. Such thoughts affect our attitude, our motivation to act, our physiology, even our biochemistry.

So how do you stop them? By realizing that YOU are in charge of your own mind. You can choose whether to listen to or agree with any thought that passes through your head. Get into the habit of asking yourself: “Is this thought helping me or hurting me? Is it getting me closer to where I want to go, or taking me further away? Is it motivating me to action, or blocking me with fear and self-doubt?”

HOLIDAY CHALLENGE:

If you experience a thought that is having a negative impact on you, make the effort to consciously replace it with a more positive one. An ideal way to do this is to start a daily meditation practice. By meditating for just 5-10 minutes every morning, and focusing on the positives in your life, you will go a long way toward replacing that critical inner voice with one that always has your back and encourages you to accomplish great things.

4. Commit to developing four new success habits a year

Your habits determine your outcomes. Successful people don’t just drift to the top. Getting there requires focused action, personal discipline, and lots of energy every day to make things happen.

So if you want to create higher levels of success, chances are you are going to need to drop some of your current habits – such as not following through on your commitments, staying up too late, watching too much television, making sarcastic comments, eating fast food too often, smoking, spending more than you earn – and replace them with more productive ones.

For example, if your goal is to get to the gym every morning, you might develop the habit of going to bed one hour earlier every night. If you want to be more productive at work, maybe you’ll get into the habit of identifying five main tasks you want to accomplish each day – then not leave the office until they’re complete. Or if you want to improve your relationship with your parents, maybe you’ll get into the habit of calling them at the same time every week just to chat.

Here are 5 habits of successful people to hep you get started.

HOLIDAY CHALLENGE:

I encourage you to create a list of four new habits you would like to establish in the new year. You can adopt a new habit each quarter and work diligently on making it part of your natural routine. By systematically adding one behavior at a time, you will dramatically improve your overall lifestyle.

5. Stay motivated with the masters

Achieving personal transformation can be challenging work – and without daily motivation, it’s all too easy to backslide.

One great way to stay on track is to seek out external motivation to keep your thoughts and attitude oriented on success. In my experience, truly successful people commit to lifelong learning and are always reading, watching, or listening to books, videos, or audiotapes that inspire them to keep moving forward.

If you spend even 15 minutes a day listening to motivational talks, learning a valuable new skill, or discovering the success secrets of the world’s most powerful entrepreneurs, artists, athletes, or other professional titans, it will inspire you to pursue your own incredible success.

Here are 5 reasons self motivated people win at life.

HOLIDAY CHALLENGE:

I encourage you to sign up for my Success Principles 10-Day Transformation series. If you’ve never taken this free training before, you will be amazed at how much it will teach you in just 10 days!

You will receive daily lessons that will help you overcome the obstacles that have been holding you back from achieving your biggest goals and enjoying deeper, more fulfilling relationships with the important people in your life.

You’ll learn how to regain 100% control over your life... heal old wounds... gain clarity on what your true purpose is... and clear your path of the roadblocks that have been preventing you from creating an ideal life filled with joy, meaning, and passion.

This is the most popular free training I have offered. More than 85,000 people have already gone through this 10-day series and experienced incredible results.

Now it’s your turn.

To learn more, go to: JACK CANFIELD’S 10-DAY TRANSFORMATION

I hope you enjoy a wonderful holiday season – and that you experience the personal transformation you need to make 2016 an incredible year for you!

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