Are You a Member of the “Ain’t it Awful” Club?

Let’s discuss one of the only clubs in the world that no one should ever want to be a part of, and that is the “Ain't it Awful” Club.

The "Ain’t it Awful" Club is populated by negative, judgmental, and pessimistic people who only focus on how bad things are and how it’s always other people who are responsible for their unhappiness and lack of success.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

They tend to be blamers, complainers, and excuse makers. They constantly blame others for everything that doesn’t work in their lives. They blame the government, the latest wave of immigrants, their bosses, their employees, their coworkers, and their spouses, parents, and children for why they don’t have what they want in life.

They are also complainers. They complain about their job, the traffic, their neighbors, the economy, the media, the schools, today’s kids, the weather, their faulty equipment, and on and on.

They are also perennial excuse makers. Instead of getting things done, they make excuses for everything. It is never their fault. The printer was late, the traffic was terrible, they didn’t have enough time, they were underfunded, everyone else screwed up, the lack of clear instructions, and so on.

Nothing is ever their fault.

Take the success principles free 10-Day Transformation course and get out of the "Ain't it Awful Club!" Learn more here.

The problem with blaming others

The problem with this kind of thinking is that instead of results, excellence, achievement, and success, you only end up with reasons why you didn’t create the desired result – for yourself or for your employer.

You may get a lot of agreement from other people. You may get to temporarily feel better, but what you don’t get is what you set out to produce - greater happiness, fulfillment, prosperity and abundance, and the achievement of your dreams and objectives.

Stop blaming others and take 100% responsibility instead

It’s critical to stop blaming others and replace complaining and excuse making with 100% responsibility thinking.

First, realize you are creating your current reality with your thoughts and your images.

One of the great positive affirmations to write down and put where you will see it every day is: “If it is meant to be, it is up to me!”

Learn to Ask Yourself Different Questions

You also have to start asking a different set of questions. Instead of, "Why can’t I?" or, "Why didn’t I achieve that result I wanted?" use positive affirmations and ask..."How can I achieve it?"

When something is not working the way you want, you can ask yourself any of these questions:

  • "How am I creating or allowing this to happen?"
  • "What am I doing that is working that I need to do more of, and what I am I doing that is not working that I need to do less of?"
  • "Am I working too much?"
  • "Am I talking too much and not listening enough?"
  • "Am I not asking enough questions?"
  • "Am I not inspecting other people’s work until the last minute and therefore, getting sloppy results?"
  • "Am I drinking too much alcohol, not getting enough sleep, gossiping too much?"
  • "What am I pretending not to know?"
  • "What yellow alerts that things are not right or not on track am I ignoring because it is uncomfortable to have to deal with them?"
  • "What actions are needed here?"
  • "If I don’t know or am not sure what to do, who can I ask for help, advice, or support?"
  • "When will I take action on the needed actions?"

Are you surrounded by negative people?

Finally, let’s look at what you should if you find yourself surrounded by members of the Ain’t It Awful Club…

Whether it’s at work, at the local bar, in your school, your sports team, or at home, the first thing is not to join into the negativity.

Don’t participate in the negative blaming, complaining, and excuse making. You can attempt to change the topic to what actions need to be taken to change things for the better, but if that doesn’t work, it is best to vacate the area and go about working on your goals and objectives.

Free Yourself From Negative People

Make a list of everyone you spend time with on a regular basis— your family members, coworkers, neighbors, friends, and so on. When you’ve completed your list, go back and put a minus (-) sign next to those people who are negative and toxic, and a plus (+) sign next to those who are positive and nurturing.

Next, make a decision to stop spending time with those people with a minus sign next to their name. If that is impossible (and remember, nothing is impossible; it is always a choice), then severely decrease the amount of time you spend with them.

You have to free yourself from the negative influence of others.

Are there people in your life who are always complaining and blaming others for their circumstances? Are there people who are always judging others, spreading negative gossip, and talking about how bad it is? Stop spending time with them as well.

Dedicate Yourself to Success

If you are going to be successful, you have to start hanging out with the successful people. Ask them to share their success strategies with you. Then try them on and see if they fit for you.

Leave a comment below and share with me one person who positively impacts your life and why!

Take my Success Principles Free 10-Day Transformation course and get me as your personal mentor for the next 10 Days! In this free online training you'll get:

  • The Success Principles 96 page eBook.  
  • 38-minute video: Liberate Yourself from the Blame Game.
  • 60-minute audio: Take Control and Get What You Want.
  • 72-minute audio: Awakening Power: Visualizations and Meditations for Success.
  • Plus daily transformational activities to help you put the lessons into practice.

This is the biggest free training package I have ever put together – so if you want to apply its power to your life, sign up today!

Jack Canfield offers free10 Day Transformation training



WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE?
You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is the founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul® and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

 

email
  • Vivienne Bellini

    Hi Jack. Love so much what you are doing in life. My question is: What's about if are my parents the negative persons of the club? I cant eliminate them from my life

    • That is a common issue, Vivienne, and you must approach it delicately. You could try a couple of things. First, open communication. Let them know how their negativity effects you. The second, decrease the amount of time you spend talking to them. While you don't have to cut them out of your life, you can choose to limit your exposure to their influence.

      • Kelli E.

        My Mother was the first negative person that came to mind when I read "Freeing Yourself From Negative People". Unfortunately she is very I'll. I do not like to be around her because she is not herself. She is demanding, out of control emotionally, granted she is in pain, but she is wreaking havoc on my stepfather's emotional and physical well-being with all of her constant and piercing demands. I need to be there whenever I can to take some of the stress off of his 82 yr old body. I also care for an 80 yr old friend with altzhiemers. I stand by my family and friends during the good times and bad. I suppose it has hindered my ability to live a life of complete freedom. These are the times when Jack says we are responsible for our own situation. That's okay. I like to be near my family. My dream is to one day have a home of my own. I gave up my dream home when I got divorced hoping to keep the relationship with my son's father amicable. It didn't work and I regret such a stupid decision. Once again, I have to take responsibility for that too. Life isn't always easy.

        • Life isn't always easy, but it sounds to me like you already know what to do if you want to change your circumstance. And that, is usually one of the most difficult steps to take.

  • Susan Rentfrow

    Hi Jack! I enjoy your work. I've been into visualization, affirmations and positive prayer for about 10 years now. I've seen positive results from the work. I read your post about hanging out with just positive people. I disagree with that. I had a like near death experience and what I learned is to just love. Obviously we need to set boundaries, but it's also important for us to see the goodness in others. When we do that, their energy can shift right before our eyes. I believe for us to raise consciousness we need to help others lift up their thoughts to what is good. I highly recommend the book , Love the Person Your With, and videos of those who experienced near death experiences and what they learned about our purpose on earth . See http://lovethepersonyouarewith.com/videos/chapter-1/ Thanks for all the great work you do!

    • I will check out that link, Susan. I agree with you that no matter what, we need to spread optimism and love. My point here is that there are some people out there who don't want to change and build themselves up by tearing others down. That is the kind of person you want to avoid. The types of people who are negative by default because they don't know any better are the ones you want to embrace. I hope that clarifies.

      • Susan Rentfrow

        Thanks for clarifying Jack. Hope to meet you in person some day. All the best to you! much love , Susan

  • Cathy Hernandez

    good day to you. my issue is that I do take responsibility for EVERYTHING that has happened in my life yet persons say that I should not. this is the advise that I always take. I have reached a state of depression that I can't seem to overcome. can you assist in this regard? thank you for your response.