Learning how to become a coach will help you become a powerful force to leave a positive impact on the world. If you lead a team of people or need to walk a co-worker, student, or friend through a rough patch in their life, having the ability to coach others to success is a useful skill.
One of my goals is to train 1,000,000 people to teach my Success Principles to groups around the world.
Whether you’re a teacher, manager, business owner, minister, local baseball coach, or someone who wants to hold a lunch-and-learn at the office, YOU can learn to coach others.
I’ve assembled strategies and developed them into exercises anyone can use in training groups. I teach these techniques all over the world and use them myself.
Learn How to Become a Coach and Help Others to Success
One of the most powerful exercises that I teach my coaches is the “Difficult and Troubling Situation”. You can use it as well to help others in nearly any setting.
It’s a series of questions designed to get someone unstuck and into action. It solves their problem by removing the roadblock that’s keeping them from producing the results they want.
This exercise can either be used one on one with someone or in a workshop with a large group.
This exercise will help you as a coach identify someone’s problem, and help them solve it. The key is to ask these questions in the correct order without engaging in any discussion or commenting. Your role as the coach is to to ask the questions and let the questions do the work.
Sounds pretty simple, right?
At the end of this, you’ll be able to identify roadblocks that a person has and provide solutions for success. Let’s go over the questions.
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The Difficult & Troubling Situation Coaching Exercise
1. What is a difficult or troubling situation in your life?
Ask the person you’re coaching to think about a place in their life where they feel stuck. Where do they feel that they’re not getting what they want, are irritated, or feel like they’re not happy.
Perhaps they’re upset that their child is not doing what they need to do. Maybe their marriage isn’t working out, or there’s something going on in their business. Whatever the problem is, the first thing is to identify it.
2. How are you allowing it to happen?
The second question is: How are you creating it or allowing it to happen?
The person who you’re coaching to success must realize that everything you experience YOU create. You create the life you want. You’re responsible for everything that you’ve allowed it to continue.
3. What are you pretending not to know?
In every situation where we’re not taking action, we almost always know how to fix it. We know what to do but we’re pretending not to see it.
Let me give you an example…
In a recent workshop, I coached someone whose apartment gets robbed frequently. They live on the first floor of their apartment building in New York.
I asked them, “Do you have bars on the windows?”
They said, “No.”
“Do you have triple locks on the doors?”
I asked, “What are you pretending not to know?”
He said, “I don’t know.”
I told him the answer is you’re pretending not to know that you live in New York. In New York, you need those kind of safety measures to keep from getting robbed.
There’s usually something we’re pretending not to know. We pretend because it’s inconvenient. It’s uncomfortable to notice a problem, because then we’d have to do something about.
Ask the person what they’re pretending not to know, and get your answer.
4. What is the payoff for keeping it like it is?
No person maintains a situation without some kind of payoff.
When you were going to school as a kid, if you got sick there was a payoff.
The payoff was that you didn’t have to go to school. You got to stay home. You got to watch TV all day. You got the attention of your parents and other things.
Whatever the problem is, there are payoffs for keeping things the way they are.
The payoff might be to avoid conflict, it might be comfort, or it might be not having to confront somebody.
Identify what it blocking the person from change.
5. What is the cost for not changing it?
Often the cost will be, your freedom, income, happiness, joy, or not being overwhelmed.
You may be sacrificing a lot by holding onto this troubling situation.
6. What would you rather be experiencing?
I’d rather be experiencing freedom. I’d rather be experiencing having more free time. I’d rather experience more success. I’d rather experience feeling stress free at the office.
Whatever it might be, have the other person think about all the great things that can come from solving the problem.
7. What actions will you take and what requests will you make to get it?
This involves action. How will you get there? Do you need to do or ask for something? Do you need to set a boundary? What do you need to do to get what you want.
This is the most important question. It requires a person to get out of their comfort zone and do the things necessary to create what they want.
When they answer that, make sure you write it down.
8. By when will you take that action?
You want them to commit to a time by when they will take that action. If possible, you can be their accountability partner.
If they say, “I’ll take it by 5 o’clock on Friday, May 15th.”
You say, “Great. Would you be willing to send me an email or call me and let me know you did that?”
So now they know that someone is waiting to make sure they took the action.
This is a powerful tool to coach others to success. I’ve used this in all my groups, all my coaching programs, all my mastermind groups and when I teach others how to become a coach.
People often tell me that this exercise changes lives.
Make sure to ask the questions listed in the order they appear.
Don’t engage in a lot of discussion, your role is to simply to ask the questions. Make sure you maintain eye contact throughout the exercise.
Identify a person who you think you could help by using this strategy. Reach out to them and offer to take them through these questions.
You never know how impactful it could be for the other person.
And if you want, turn the tables. Have them take you through it as well.
You’ll get a lot of value by doing it both ways and it creates a feeling of equality between you and the other person.
It shows you’re not above them or below them, but that you’re equal partners.
Try this with your friends, family, and coworkers – it is a really powerful technique.
This is the same methodology I teach to my students in my Train the Trainer Certification Program. If you’d like to learn how to become a coach and Transformational Trainer – and take your own speaking, teaching, or training career to the next level – I’m accepting a new group of students who want to become Certified to teach my Success Principles and join the ranks of the next generation of Human Potential Trainers.
If you have any comments or questions about Transformational Training, please post them in the comments below!
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